The Real World is a Myth

Perhaps I should delve into another aspect of the predicament I have found myself in. It's very common for people who have exclusively had the occupation of "student" for the last 17 years to find it a little shocking to enter the so-called "real world".

Speaking of which... I feel like I have supposedly entered this real world at least 15 different times by now...
High school graduation, moving into the freshman dorms-- as if sharing a bathroom with 20 other girls is a realistic view of the world--, my first bout of college homesickness, my first internship, my delightful study abroad experience (if you don't know about the hell that was Summer 2007, I will fill you in on this later, I'm sure), etc ... etc, and finally college graduation.

The truth is, I still don't think I am living in this mythical real world.

My summer was filled with incredible vacations, abundant time with my family, complete relaxation and some of the best times I've ever had in my life. It was probably my best summer ever. You tell me how many people would consider that REAL LIFE. Probably no one. Especially my parents. (Hey guys! I love you!)

I spent the vast majority of my summer in St. Louis, my hometown and favorite city in the country. You can have your NYC, your LA, your Washington DC... I will keep my midwest. (Nelly is my homeboy!) Despite thinking that the Lou was the most boring city in the world when we were in high school, I have grown to love and respect it like any true St. Louisan should. Needless to say, spending 3 post-college months in my midwest paradise has allowed me to strengthen my undeniable bond to the city. I am literally having separation anxiety as I write this!
Never again in my life will I be able to live at home and see my family every day. Never again can I go out with my best friends every night of the week and just do whatever we want to do! (Scene It?, Anyone?). My mom and I had gotten into a pretty nice routine. Walk around town in the morning, go to lunch at one of our favorite spots, run errands in the afternoon. Go for a swim. Walk Craig's pup, Johann (I LOVE HIM). It was the life.
It's not even so much the city that I am having a hard time stepping away from as what it represents for me. Obviously the big one is my family. As you can tell from my sidebar photos, I have been blessed with the most incredible family anyone could ask for. I love being a part of it more than I can even express. STL is also my past, my roots, what molded my personality and my identity.
Crazy how I was fine being away from my family/friends/city for four years, but now that this mouse has been given the cookie, she just needs some milk (non-fat, please).

The reason I have moved back to Lawrence is the aforementioned BF. The love of my life, Anthony. He chose to go to law school here at KU and I told him if he went here I would stay to be with him. Aside from the fact that I am competely attached to my house that I have lived in for the past three years (are you starting to see a pattern with me and my inability to let things go???), and that I am crazy about the life-long friends in Lawrence that I love and will cherish forever, I do love Lawrence as a city and thought it would be the perfect way to pretend that I was still in college and keep my life as normal as it was before. Clearly, I don't do well with transitions.

Perhaps the title of my blog is taking on new meaning for you. I think I will always feel like I am living somewhere between Lawrence and St. Louis because my heart belongs to both. I have so much invested in both cities and I will always want to be in both simultaneously. I know what I have chosen my priorities to be and I guess I just have to deal with the consequences of what I am missing out on because I am not able to be in both places at all times.

Cue the real world.